Never Too Old for Great Sex

Fine wine and classic cars improve with age, so why not your sexuality? Here’s how to keep your love life healthy and hot for years to come.

 

Sure, sex during midlife and beyond may be different than it was when you were younger. But that doesn’t mean your sex life is destined to be dull or disappointing. On the contrary.

Healthy individuals can remain sexually active and interested well into their 70s, 80s, and 90s, if they choose to. And an active sex life may even help you stay young. Some age-related physical changes may be unavoidable, but these changes don’t have to interfere with sexual intimacy.

The fact is, there’s no one “right” way to experience sex. The way you express your sexuality is shaped by your individuality and your personal circumstances. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, disabled or able-bodied, young or old, think of your sexuality as a unique part of who you are. By taking a more personal, less prescribed approach to sexual intimacy, you allow yourself the freedom to adapt your sex life according to your changing needs.

The first step to maintaining an active, fulfilling sex life is getting to know some of the normal physical changes you’re likely to experience as you get older. The next step is making a few simple adjustments to rev your libido and boost your sex life.

 

Age-Related Change #1: Slower Response Time

As you get older, it may take longer for your body to respond to sexual stimulation. Even if you feel highly aroused, it’s normal for older men to need longer, stronger stimulation to achieve an erection.

Although this is not necessarily a sign of disinterest or a lack of attraction, some men, and their partners, may misinterpret it as such. To avoid misunderstandings, keep the lines of communication open. It may not be easy to talk about sex at first, but in the long run, it will benefit both of you.

What to Do About It

Don’t rush things. Spend more time on foreplay. Explore each other’s body: kiss, caress, lick, or give each other erotic massages. Remember that if your partner is about the same age as you, she may also need more time and stimulation to become sexually aroused.

If you are unable to become aroused on a regular basis, speak with your healthcare provider. There could be a treatable underlying condition causing your difficulties.

 

Age-Related Change #2: Weak Erections and Weakening Pelvic Muscles

Many older men find that their erections are different than they were in their younger years. They may not be as hard, they may not last as long, and the experience of ejaculation may not feel as strong as it used to.

This may be due, in part, to weakening pelvic-floor muscles. Pelvic-floor muscles are responsible for drawing blood to the genitals during sexual activity, affecting erection and orgasm.

What to Do About It

For some men, having sex in the morning, when erections are more likely, helps improve their ability to maintain an erection longer. But keep in mind that penetrative sex isn’t the only way to have great sex. Experiment with different sexual activities to figure out what feels best for you at this time in your life.

You can also strengthen your pelvic muscles by doing Kegel exercises every day. You may have heard that these exercises are just for women, but they can benefit men, too.

 

Age-Related Change #3: Longer Time between Erections

It’s common for older men to experience a longer refractory period — the time it takes until your body’s ready for another erection after you ejaculate. In some cases, the cooling off period may be as long as 12 to 24 hours, or more.

What to Do About It

If you’ve climaxed, but you or your partner isn’t ready for the sexual experience to end just yet, focus on meeting your partner’s needs or on activities that don’t require an erection. For example, you don’t need an erection for oral sex or manual stimulation.

Whatever you do, don’t get stressed worrying about your virility. This is a normal change that comes with aging — not a sign that you’re losing your touch. And you will likely find that the different sexual activities you engage in without an erection are still very pleasurable for you and your partner. Just be sure to reassure your partner that the longer time between your erections is not a reflection of how you feel about her.

 

 

From ShareCare, June 2015

This entry was posted on August 1, 2018, in BLOG, Health.

Discover 7 Ways to Prevent Alzheimer’s Disease

Good news for people who feel a hint of anxiety every time they forget where they put their keys. More than 50 percent of Alzheimer’s cases may be preventable.

In fact, research suggests that there are seven key healthy lifestyle changes people could make to help prevent Alzheimer’s disease.

 

The Super 7

More research is needed to confirm whether there is a causal link between these seven key risk factors and Alzheimer’s. But there are plenty of other good health reasons to make the following changes:

  1. Get moving.

Inactivity is linked to greater Alzheimer’s risk, so take a daily walk. Walking every day can prevent your brain from shrinking, too.

 

  1. Don’t smoke.

If you do, quit. Smoking may up the likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s disease.

 

  1. Eat more bananas.

The potassium in this cheap and plentiful year-round fruit can help lower your blood pressure by as much as two to three points! And low blood pressure at middle age may help prevent Alzheimer’s disease.

 

  1. Go to bed.

 Getting a good night’s sleep can lower your risk of type 2 diabetes, so get your ZZZs because research suggests that developing type 2 diabetes may up your chances of getting Alzheimer’s.

 

  1. Walk outside.

People who exercise outside — versus at the gym or inside the home — have less depression. That’s good news for the brain, because depression may increase the risk of Alzheimer’s.

 

  1. Take a class.

Higher education is linked to lower rates of Alzheimer’s.

 

  1. Drop a few.

Becoming obese at middle age may be connected to higher Alzheimer’s risk.

 

RealAge Benefits

Learning a new game that requires brainpower can make your RealAge 1.3 years younger.

 

This entry was posted on August 1, 2018, in BLOG, Health.

10 Potentially Embarrassing Health Moments and How to Fix Them

 

 

 

START SLIDESHOW

Try as we might take care of ourselves by eating the right foods and getting the right amount of exercise, our bodies have ways of calling attention to themselves – often in embarrassing ways. You’ve embarked on a seven-day cruise only to find, within the first hour at sea, that you have motion sickness. You’ve just sat down for a sunny outdoor brunch and noticed that sweat stains have begun to appear on your clothes. You’ve finished a delicious meal with friends, and now your stomach is performing an experimental song for all to hear. These and other health issues, however minor, can be a drag. Thankfully, there are several quick fixes you turn to when your body is trying to cramp your style. Look to these top embarrassing health moments and the simple measures you can take to address them.

 

Courtesy Dr. Oz

This entry was posted on June 24, 2018, in Laughter.

15 Wise and Inspiring Quotes about Aging

 

Advice from the ages for staying fit, smart, and funny

Published on January 28, 2012 by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. in Fulfillment at Any Age

If you want to know how to age successfully, your best bet is to ask older adults who’ve figured out the secrets. These 15 wise individuals, all of whom lived well into their later years, provide a range of witty, wise, and even practical tips for finding fulfillment, no matter what your age.

  1. “I had to wait 110 years to become famous.  I wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.”  Jeanne Louise Calment  (1875-1997)

The oldest documented living human, this French woman had all her wits about her when she reached the “super-centenarian” age of 110. With her jaunty smile, Calment charmed the world with her upbeat attitude toward aging and life.

  1. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”  Woody Allen (1935- )

Unfortunately, this bon mot is somewhat true, though some of the longest-living individuals (including Calment) engaged in their share of bad habits. However, you can control your lifespan to the extent that you can avoid some of the unhealthy behaviours that cause people to die before reaching old age.

  1. “Too many people, when they get old, think that they have to live by the calendar.” Senator John Glenn

As the oldest person to board a U.S. Space Shuttle at age 77, Senator John Glenn exemplified the view that we shouldn’t let age define us. The calendar is a useful way to let you know the date, but if you let yourself be hemmed in by your chronological age, you may lock yourself out of potentially valuable opportunities.

  1. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was*?” Satchel Paige (1906-1982)

Along the same lines as John Glenn’s quote is that of this baseball legend who continued his successful career well into his 60s. We are so obsessed with age, Paige implies, that we allow it to define our identities. Break out of the mental set that makes you think of your age first, and your identity second.

*thank you to a reader who pointed out the quote may actually say “were,” but it’s also listed as “are,” and as I have written here, “was.”

  1. Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.” Coco Chanel (1983-1971)

Before the age of botox, this fashion icon wisely noted that the expressions you characteristically show will lead you to develop the lines that engrave your face as you get older. At 20, you have none of these lines, but by 50 your typical expression will have carved itself into your forehead and around your eyes and mouth. Smile and your facial wrinkles will have a friendlier feel.

  1. “Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” Edward Stanley (1826-1893)

Do you ever feel that you just don’t have enough time to work out? Do you get to work early and stay late at the office, only to convince yourself that there are just not enough hours in the day to get to the gym? Back in the mid-1800s, this British stateman advocated, well ahead of his time, for the importance to health of getting regular physical activity. He didn’t have the data to support this argument that we have now about the value of exercise, but his astute observation would withstand the most rigorous scientific test about the benefits of working out on a regular basis.

  1. “I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to.” Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Einstein seemed to have the ability to produce more witticisms than the average physicist.  In this case, he expresses the sentiment that many older adults seem to feel, as evidenced by research showing that older adults have lower scores on a measure called “self-discipline.” By the time they reach their later years, individuals feel better able to express themselves rather than being hemmed in by society’s proscriptions.

  1. “Do not try to live forever, you will not succeed.” George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

This is somewhat of a discouraging message but not if you accept the fact that there are limits on longevity, meaning that life has finite limits. Of course, Shaw himself lived to a ripe old age.  However, by recognizing that no one can live forever, you can avail yourself of the life you have, and enjoy it as much as possible.

  1. “By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” George Burns (1896-1996)

The ultimate wise old man, George Burns (who played “God” in case you don’t remember) expresses an observation that, although probably unknown to him, has its basis in empirical data about aging and memory. Researchers believe that one of the challenges to memory that older adults face is the ability to retrieve the information they have already acquired. With this knowledge, you can avail yourself of memory strategies that will allow you to maximize the ability to store and retrieve the memories you strive to retain.

  1. “The wiser mind mourns less for what age takes away than what it leaves behind.” William Wordsworth (1770-1850)

There are several layers of wisdom embedded in this quote. One is that as people get older, their wisdom is expressed by focusing on what is most important. Second, those adults who do focus on loss will be less able to maximize their mental powers, even in areas that traditionally seem vulnerable to the effects of aging. Third, by concentrating on your strengths rather than your weaknesses, your more positive mental set will allow you to take advantage of your mental powers, even if they’re not quite what they were when you were younger.

  1. “He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a burden.” Plato (427-346 B.C.)

This wise observation from Plato harkens back to the findings of “Big Five” researchers Costa and McCrae, who observed that the most discontented younger adults were the ones most likely to experience the so-called “midlife crisis” in their 40s. Although personality change is possible at any time throughout life, people high on the trait of neuroticism seem to have disadvantages in adapting to the challenges of midlife and beyond.

  1. “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” Ann Landers (1918-2002)

The guru of advice columns (along with her twin sister, Abigail Van Buren), Ann Landers reminds us that as people get older, they move away from the egocentric concerns of youth to the more realistic perceptions of midlife and older adults, who realize that they are not the centre of the universe.  As a result, older adults are free to do what they want, not constrained by what they construe to be the opinions of others (who themselves are thinking only about themselves).

  1. “Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.” Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)

I like this quote as an opening to my lecture on aging and work. Although we tend to think of older adults as less productive employees than their younger counterparts, the opposite is true. From the age of 55 and onwards, workers are better employees in terms of their reliability and even, in many vocational fields, of productivity. We might wish that aging carried with it more “honour” than it does in a society that seems to value youth, but as Tennyson pointed out, there are many reasons that it should.

  1. “Because I could not stop for death – He kindly stopped for me.” Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

Emily Dickinson’s quotes are some of the most quotable in all of psychology, and this is no exception. The idea that death can be “kind” fits with what experts in the field of death and dying call the “tame” view of death. It’s not that death steals us of life, but that it brings us to a beneficent ending.

  1. “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.” Robert Browning (1812-1889)

This very inspiring characterization of old age fits with the concept of “successful aging,” provides the view that it is possible to enjoy your later years in a way that exceeds your expectations.

  1. “Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” Betty Friedan (1921-2006)

One of the founders of the feminist movement, Betty Friedan continued to inspire women throughout her life, writing about her experiences with aging in The Fountain of AgeIn this quote, Friedan captures the concept of successful aging. Let’s redefine later life as a time of growth instead of inevitable decline.

 

Discover 7 Ways to Prevent Alzeimers Disease

Good news for people who feel a hint of anxiety every time they forget where they put their keys. More than 50 percent of Alzheimer’s cases may be preventable.
In fact, research suggests that there are seven key healthy lifestyle changes people could make to help prevent Alzheimer’s disease.

The Super 7

More research is needed to confirm whether there is a causal link between these seven key risk factors and Alzheimer’s. But there are plenty of other good health reasons to make the following changes:

  1. Get moving. Inactivity is linked to greater Alzheimer’s risk, so take a daily walk. Walking every day can prevent your brain from shrinking, too.

  2. Don’t smoke. If you do, quit. Smoking may up the likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s disease.

  3. Eat more bananas. The potassium in this cheap and plentiful year-round fruit can help lower your blood pressure by as much as two to three points! And low blood pressure at middle age may help prevent Alzheimer’s disease.

  4. Go to bed. Getting a good night’s sleep can lower your risk of type 2 diabetes, so get your ZZZs because research suggests that developing type 2 diabetes may up your chances of getting Alzheimer’s.

  5. Walk outside. People who exercise outside — versus at the gym or inside the home — have less depression. That’s good news for the brain, because depression may increase the risk of Alzheimer’s.

  6. Take a class. Higher education is linked to lower rates of Alzheimer’s.

  7. Drop a few. Becoming obese at middle age may be connected to higher Alzheimer’s risk.

February 2017

Hello Readers!

Classes are scheduled to begin on March 2nd. It may be a smaller group than I would prefer, but interest is growing as I meet more seniors, and slowly but surely spread the word. I have been offered FREE space at a seniors residence (Chartwell’s Cedarbrooke in Mission) which means I am able to lower the price for the series to the benefit of all!

The space is a choice between two depending on the size of the group. The private dining room is marvellous for a small group and will accomodate tea/coffee and cookies along with the necessary charts etc. The second space is the Theatre which is a very good size for larger groups and has PowerPoint capability along with space for tea/coffee and charts etc. The chairs in the Theatre are a tad too comfortable perhaps, but no-one would complain about that.

At this point I need to settle the approximate count according to active registrations and determine where we will begin – dining room or Theatre. We can take last minute registration but this delays the start of the first session so I prefer pre-registration when possible.

Advertising in a local magazine designed as an information guide is attractive and effective! Writing 200-300 words every other month is not difficult and I can gradually educate the readers as to what we are doing. The magazine is glossy, colouful and each ad can be personalized – all great! My thanks go to Cory Cassel and “WhatsOn” for assistance.

WE ARE ON OUR WAY…

Workshop Facilitation

It has been a difficult start for classes, mostly due to extreme weather! The location for classes was not suitable for seniors dues to lack of accessibility, but the offer of a seniors centre location with large theatre or dining/meeting room has solved the later problem. We will also be better able to serve tea/coffee/snacks etc and enjoy a private and comfortable setting. It makes a huge difference when the ambience is right.

I anticipate having some fun as well as serious thought, and am preparing for the first day with great pleasure! If you are local and can be there, join us and add to the general sharing.